Surroundings

People you choose to surround yourself with, impact you in a way or another. 

You may have heard, read or stumbled across this quote somewhere : "you are who you surround yourself with".

I can assure you that it is a fact.

This year, I decided to conduct an experiment on myself, not quite directly but I rather just observed my attitude near different groups of people. 

Let's start with my siblings, when I am around them, I tend to be more authoritarian, firm, which is probably due to my status as the older sibling, sometimes chaotic and loving too! Sibling chemistry is really weird, I can give them my kidneys but not my favorite tee-shirt! 

When I am with the group A, a group that is very much interested in video games, laid back, my vocabulary tends to shift to the one you can find on video games, many terms I employ such as "respawn", or "one shot", stuff like that.. My overall attitude is more chill. That way, we connect better and understand each other. 

When I hangout with group B, I sense my attitude tensing up, thinking about what I say a lot, afraid of making mistakes around them or they will kind of make fun of you..  Sometimes I use quite unusual words straight up from french novels from the 18th century, and that is due to the nature of these people and the overall Draco Malfoy academic vibe. They have a tendency of judging others and ranking their value by grades, so I can't help but feel pressured myself. 

At first it seems nice to have academically successful people by your side but when I got to know them more I couldn't help but notice a lot of flaws in their characters. 

When I hangout with group C, I feel safe, and a weird urge to get my books out and start immediately studying. I associate them with school library, and I do not feel pressured nor ashamed of making mistakes as I know they will help me rather than push me down. I feel at ease and overall casual. 

Group D, happy, cool, fresh vibes.. I find myself giving out hugs because those people are really sweet and nice, you feel some kind of warmth, and my attitude is very much teddy bear like around them. 

Based on my personal observation, I will qualify this attitude change depending on people as the chameleon effect : You pick up the patterns in a way to feel accepted within that community. 

Sense of acceptance is a very important feeling in human psychology as it has been deep rooted in us since the paleontology era. 

That does not mean that you do not have a personality, or you are easily influenced, it's just the phenomenon of society.

Now back to the quote I used earlier, "you are who you surround yourself with". 

Basically if you are thriving for change in your life and positive influence, pick out people that will pull you up. 

When I experimented with the different groups, and observed my own attitude and listened to my feelings and emotions with those very different people, I took mental notes, and now depending on my emotional needs or rational tasks, I hangout with the adequate people. 

Change does not depend solely on your will-power, your environment plays a huge key role and also the people you choose to surround yourself with.